


Still Alive

by TrekCat (Rachel500)



Series: The Sentinel Queen [2]
Category: Arthurian Mythology, Stargate Atlantis, The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 11:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5584477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rachel500/pseuds/TrekCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tasked with an important mission by his Sentinel Queen, can Alpha Sentinel John Sheppard resist the lure of Chaya without the stabilising bond provided by his unwilling Guide?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Alive

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second part of a Stargate trilogy fusion with The Sentinel and Arthurian mythology, and was written by me in April as part of a RT challenge using the pseudonym 'TrekCat' (it will cross-posted to FF.net under my usual penname Rachel500 there).
> 
> I don't believe there is a need to know anything about The Sentinel to follow the stories other than to know a Sentinel has enhanced senses and usually has a Guide who assists them in controlling this gift. I should also acknowledge that the title comes from 'I Believe' by Christina Perri.
> 
> The first story is set in SG1, the third in SGU. The stories can be found linked as a series. You don't need to read the other stories necessarily if you're not a fan of the other Stargate shows as all stories were written to be read as individual pieces (just enriched if read as a trilogy).
> 
> From a challenge perspective I found this was the one that I was most dissatisfied with in April as I think it's angle using Chaya meant that the narrative relied too heavily on the episode in which it is set and therefore comes over as unoriginal to me. I'm certain probably something similar has already been written in fandom. However, on re-reading, while I maintain it still isn't original in its central format, structure or narrative, I'm satisfied enough with the writing to post it with some editing.
> 
> For my long term readers, I hope this provides a belated gift after being absent from the Stargate fandom for so long. While I've been saying it for a very long time in my profile, I will be returning to Aftershocks and finishing the SG1 series in 2016.

The walkway vibrated under his footsteps as Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard jogged determinedly forward. The troop of Marines on his heels kept the Sentinel in him focused. He'd had less problems imposing his authority and command since the Genii invasion of Atlantis – going feral and killing almost every single one of the enemy seemed to have won the hard-ass Marines over – but he wasn't taking it for granted. That meant he was up early every day to do the physical training with them and as a result, John was in the best physical shape of his life.

Truthfully, it was a good thing given that, as much as John wanted to deny it, Atlantis was in a war zone. The Wraith ruled the galaxy and the arrival of people from Earth was simply an advertisement to them that another restaurant had opened up with an all-the-Wraith-could-eat buffet just waiting if they could find it. The Wraith didn't view them as much of a threat and John couldn't blame them. What Earth did provide to the rest of the galaxy though was an abundance of technology and scientific understanding that was rare in Pegasus since the Wraith carefully culled any planet that showed signs of advancement. The Athosians looked at the Atlanteans with awe even though they pitied them the lack of religious deference.

Religion.

John could have done without the quasi-worship of his Ancient gene and his Alpha Sentinel abilities. The Athosians treated him as though he were one of the Warrior Princes of old which wore on John's nerves. He was glad that they were mostly staying on the mainland now with only a few hardy scouts volunteering to assist the Atlantean gate teams. The Athosian leader, Teyla, thankfully had lost any kind of awe of John after a couple of missions and treated him with the friendly teasing of an older sister. Since John was certain he was at least a decade older than her it was bemusing, but probably an accurate reading of their respective maturity levels.

Teyla's irreverence was a stark contrast to Aiden Ford's hero worship. The young Marine Lieutenant viewed John with stars in his eyes. The Sentinel was a puppy and he was barely able to keep his chin up in the presence of his Alpha. Ford was slowly losing his puppy-ness and John had high hopes for him. Ford had previously worked at the SGC with General Jack O'Neill and Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter, both of whom had assumed the old roles of Warrior King and Queen for the tribe with the emergence of the Colonel as an online Sentinel just over a year before, and they spoke well of him.

His thoughts brightened as his mind dwelled for a moment on the bonded Sentinel pair. Sam and Jack had welcomed John to the Stargate programme and into their home when they had discovered him at McMurdo, rescuing fellow pilots downed in battle, in the wake of SG1 defeating Anubis with Ancient weapons found deep below the ice in Antarctica.

They had been horrified at the lack of care the Sentinel and Guide Department had provided for a highly decorated and grief-stricken Alpha Sentinel in the wake of losing a conservator Guide in battle. John might never have been able to save Holland but his going back against orders was acceptable within Sentinel rights. The Sentinel couple had stepped in and sorted out the whole mess, restoring John to the rank he would have had if the mess with Holland hadn't happened and placing him under their not inconsiderable protection.

The few months after he'd transferred to the Stargate programme and stayed with Sam and Jack had been some of the happiest of his life. Being close to Sam and Jack was soothing. His spirit had healed and his spirit animal, an Eagle Owl, had had fun dive bombing the other Sentinels' lions. He had come out of his induction training feeling for the first time that he truly had an idea of what being an Alpha Sentinel meant; how to be one. He had sworn never to let the pair down and he had no intention of ever doing so.

His first mission after induction had been a return to Antarctica to escort Jack in his official role as CO of the Stargate programme on a tour of the Atlantis project. The flight in the helicopter had been fine – Ancient weapons aside – and it had been a blast seeing the old Ancient outpost under the ice. Unfortunately he'd sat in the damn chair.

The Ancient control chair was a wondrous thing; a combination of absolute peace edged with the knowledge that the wrong thought could bring down destruction of a biblical kind. It was a rush and a comfort all at the same time for anyone who sat in the damn thing. The chair had given away John's genetic heritage; his Ancient gene was the closest to Ancient they could find. He could instinctively control Ancient devices and he felt them at an inner spiritual level nobody else on Earth did. After the chair, there had been an ongoing battle between the Commanding Officer of the Atlantis Military, Colonel Sumner, and Atlantis' Programme Director, Elizabeth Weir, over whether John would be involved in the Atlantis project. A battle made more difficult by the discovery of John's Guide at the same moment he'd sat in the chair; Doctor Rodney McKay.

McKay with his stocky and solid build, thinning short brown hair, and quirky mouth, was a Sentinel's worst nightmare in Guide terms. McKay didn't want to be a Guide; had no interest in learning about the Guide gifts he had any more than he had to in order to live, and hated the idea of bonding with a Sentinel. He was also brilliantly intelligent with an enthusiasm for his subject that John secretly admired, and he had a biting sarcasm that John enjoyed whenever it wasn't directed at him.

Weir, eager to have John included because of the gene, had insisted they bond, (although neither he nor Rodney had followed that directive since it was really none of her business), and that as McKay's contract with the International Oversight Committee superseded all other commitments, John as his Sentinel would just have to go along with the expedition regardless of his own wants and desires. Jack, who didn't agree with why Sumner didn't want John included, had nevertheless been furious; he had insisted they would not be forced to bond and regardless John's contract with the Air Force took precedence.

It was Sam who had ended the stand-off. She had decreed that John would go to Atlantis and when she had told John why, he had agreed…

_Sam was a beautiful woman and Jack was a lucky man, John determined as she led him out to the deck behind the couple's house on the outskirts of Colorado Springs. She handed him a cool beer, still in its bottle, and leaned up against the deck railing looking out at the surprisingly trim back yard. Inside, Jack was pottering in the kitchen with his world famous chilli (secret ingredient being beer) and with a shrug had left the conversation to his wife._

_John looked up at the darkening sky, the lilac twilight just beginning to creep in behind the last golden flush of the sunlight._

_"You're needed in Atlantis." Sam said without preamble. Her tendency not to bullshit and get to the point was something John appreciated._

_"Others have the gene. Lorne's close." John said. "If Beckett stopped being afraid of it, he'd be better than Lorne."_

_"Neither of them are Sentinels." Sam countered, raising her bottle in John's direction, "and neither of them especially are an Alpha Sentinel."_

_"You think Atlantis needs an Alpha Sentinel?" asked John carefully. "Sumner's a good Marine by all accounts."_

_"Atlantis needs a Warrior Prince." Sam said bluntly._

_Her usage of the old language, the language that had only been discovered with Sam's advent as the first sane female Sentinel, made John pause._

_"Warrior Prince?" John gave a hesitant laugh. John respected Sam and her husband but the idea that he was a Warrior Prince himself…it made him uncomfortable._

_"Princes lead the tribes and you are an Alpha, a Prince whether you want to be one or not." Sam said seriously. "As your Warrior Queen, I need you in Atlantis."_

_John looked at her for a long moment, seeing the sincerity in her eyes; the belief. "Okay…" he said, in a long drawl, "you need me in Atlantis to do what? Lead? Sumner won't let me anywhere near the chain of command even if he does give way on allowing me to go and if I were him I wouldn't let me either."_

_"There's a Sentinel mission." Sam said, ignoring most of what he had said. "When I came online, I spoke on the spirit plane with a…a Guide, I think. A young woman who lived on a planet far across the universe which was the origin of all Sentinels and Guides when such distinctions weren't made."_

_"I read the report." John admitted, worrying at the label on his bottle._

_"Then you know that she explained the history behind the curse for the female Sentinels. I've broken that curse for the people of Earth because of what happened with Jolinar so I bring balance to the tribe, but it still exists in the rest of the universe. The Guide told me that the curse of insanity for the female Sentinels was made into human form and sent through time and space." Sam said._

_John nodded again._

_"What isn't in the report is that the human form of the curse would be found and destroyed in the city of Atlantea by a Warrior Prince."_

_"Atlantis." John murmured in shock._

_"Atlantis." Sam agreed gently. "Once the curse is destroyed, all other female Sentinels in the universe will be saved."_

_"No pressure then." John muttered. He turned away from her, considering his options. "You believe this?"_

_"I walked the spirit plane. I spoke with her." Sam said firmly. "I might not be the most spiritual of us, John, but I believe that conversation happened and I believe that she spoke truthfully of what was to come." She breathed in deeply, her eyes closing momentarily at the scents of home and mate. When she opened them again, she snared John's gaze. "I wouldn't ask you if I didn't believe."_

_John wasn't the most spiritual of them either but he could feel she was right. Which meant one thing…he sighed and tipped his bottle towards her. "Then I'll go to Atlantis." He held up a finger. "There are conditions and I'll probably need to speak to the General about them."_

_Sam nodded. She placed a hand on his forearm in comfort. "I'm sorry about Rodney refusing to bond, John."_

_He wasn't surprised she'd guessed one of his concerns._

_"It's within his rights." John said mildly. He had always supported the rights of Guides and Sentinels to choose the bond rather than be forced into it. He wasn't going to step away from that just because his own Guide didn't want to bond._

_Sam looked as though she wanted to argue but she gave another nod and with a comforting squeeze of his arm, she headed in. A moment later, Jack wandered out holding a beer. The General looked relaxed and content in a button down blue shirt over a plain white t-shirt and comfortable jeans. He gestured at the table and benches behind them and John sat wordlessly._

_Jack straddled the other side of the bench and drank a long pull from his beer before he set it down. "So you're taking the mission."_

_"The Queen commands it." John said with a hint of seriousness hidden under the banter._

_"She does." Jack said amused. "She said you wanted to talk conditions?"_

_"This is a Sentinel mission, right?" John began, gesturing with his own bottle. "I want that official."_

_Jack cocked his head. "I can do that. What else?"_

_"My CO remains you." John continued. "I'll respect Colonel Sumner as the ranking officer in the field but he doesn't have direct command of me."_

_"He won't like that." Jack commented. "I wouldn't."_

_"Neither would I." John admitted. "But you and I both know that one of us will end up killing the other if we make me part of the CoC." He sipped his beer while Jack thought it over._

_Eventually, the General sighed. "I'll allow it," he said, "on the basis that if something happens to Sumner, you'll take over the command as the ranking officer in the field."_

_John could live with that._

_"So you want to report to Weir…"_

_"God, no." John shuddered. "I'm not just a glorified light switch and that's all she's seen me as since I sat in that goddamned chair."_

_Jack's lips twitched. "You want to be appointed as the Sentinel liaison then."_

_It was the only neutral ground John could claim and it provided him with an autonomy of his own. Jack nodded slowly and his brown eyes shone with an approval that warmed John from the inside out._

_"You'll be better than Smythe that's for sure."_

_"Yes," John agreed wryly. The current Sentinel and Guide Department liaison to the SGC had been earmarked for the role. Pamela Farthington-Smythe was well-intentioned but she had the social skills of a cold fish. "Which brings me onto the next thing."_

_Jack lowered his beer from his lips and sighed heavily. "This is going to be about McKay, isn't it?"_

_John grimaced and nodded. "Look, I know he has history with you and Colonel Carter."_

_When the news of Sam's status had broken, McKay had supported an SGD order that the Guides be allowed to meet with the Sentinel Queen to see if they matched. It had been couched in careful terms but the underlying notion that another Sentinel was not an appropriate partner for the first online and sane female Sentinel was there all the same. Sam had tolerated one meet-and-greet in which she'd rejected every Guide she'd met including McKay, (and John was resolutely ignoring the fact that his Guide would have happily bonded to a blonde female Sentinel), and had subsequently informed the SGD that she'd take them to court for bond interference the next time they asked her to participate._

_"I also know you and Sam are disappointed he's my Guide."_

_Jack made a 'meh' sound which John took as agreement._

_"I don't think he's that bad." John commented, diverting from his point a little. "I don't disagree at his worst he's hard to tolerate, and that whole thing with Teal'c was screwed up," and even Sam had acknowledged some of that hadn't been McKay's fault but rather Colonel Simmons, "but I think he's a good man underneath the lack of social skills." He'd felt that on a spiritual level; interacted with McKay's sharply assessing white parrot enough times to know it._

_Jack hummed under his breath. "Does this mean you're going to go along with Weir's idea to bond the pair of you?"_

_"No," John shook his head, "as much as I think we'd make a good team," and he really did think they'd help balance each other, "I have to respect his decision not to progress a bond with me." He said evenly. "If I go to Atlantis I want it on record we're not going as a bonded pair."_

_Jack lifted his bottle. "OK." He tilted his head. "Are you hoping he'll come round if you don't force the issue?"_

_John inwardly winced at the heavy scepticism in Jack's voice. "Not exactly." He picked at the label on his bottle again and sighed. "Maybe."_

_Jack's head turned suddenly to the door and John followed his gaze; Sam stood there with a concerned expression. Sam moved from the doorway to stand beside Jack, their arms sliding around each other with automatic familiarity._

_"I take it you heard most of that?" checked John, rubbing the back of his neck._

_Sam nodded. "You're right that underneath the arrogant and annoying outer McKay, Rodney's a good man, but…" she sighed, "just be careful you don't get hurt, John."_

_"I will be." John said hurriedly._

And he had fully intended to give Rodney space and focus on his mission except…ever since they'd made it to Atlantis, John had found himself becoming closer and closer to his Guide. Initially Rodney had been wary but when John hadn't pressed the issue of a bond, the scientist had dropped some of the distance between them. Their missions together had helped them forge something of a friendship and John had started to hope that maybe…maybe…

John navigated a set of stairs and took off for the next corridor, the Marines barely keeping pace with him.

Whatever hopes he had harboured, something had happened on their last mission to make that hope more nebulous again. He and Rodney had battled an old Wraith on a planet at the far edges of their solar system. They'd been completely in synch during the confrontation but on the long flight back, the scientist had become more and more distant. John wondered at it and was saddened at the loss of their previous closeness but he wasn't going to push Rodney no matter how much it frustrated his inner Sentinel.

Still, he couldn't help but think he'd have gotten further with his actual Sentinel mission if his Guide were actually his Guide. He shook his head. It wasn't Rodney's fault that they'd lost Sumner the first day in Pegasus (and he wasn't ever going to lose the memory of Sumner's tortured face before John had fired the shot to give him mercy), and so it wasn't Rodney's fault that John had barely any time to consider the curse and destroying it.

Not for the first time he promised himself he'd carve out an hour to try and find out something in the Atlantis database so he could shake the feeling he was letting Sam down. He rounded the corner and pushed himself into a sprint for the final one hundred metres to the main gym. He raced up to the front and started his cool down exercises, the Marines eventually joining him. Once they'd all finished, he dismissed them and headed for his room and a shower.

Ford fell in beside him and John glanced over at the Marine with a frown. Ford was on security duty that morning so hadn't been a part of the run. "Problem, Lieutenant?"

"Heard you broke the base record this morning, sir." Ford said hesitantly. "Something on your mind?"

"Just working out some demons." John said lightly. His difficulties with Rodney were between them and as much as he appreciated Ford's support, he wasn't going to involve him in something so personal.

Ford nodded. "Doctor Weir wanted me to inform you that Doctor Grodin found another viable planet; mission briefing is at oh-nine-hundred."

John grimaced. "Great."

"Space gate, sir. I've taken the liberty of asking for a jumper to be prepped." Ford said, keeping a straight face as John visibly lit up at the idea of flying.

John grinned at him as they reached John's quarters. "I like your proactivity, Lieutenant."

Ford gave a satisfied grin of his own and as John silently dismissed him, he headed down the corridor. John had just opened his door with a thought when a question struck him and he called out to Ford who obligingly turned around.

"Hey, this planet got a name?"

Ford nodded. "Proculus, sir."

o-O-o

"Jesus!" Ford shouted as John deftly avoided the collision with the Wraith dart that had appeared right in front of them as they had cleared the event horizon.

"Oh my God!" Rodney spluttered behind John. "Weapons!"

John did another barrel roll away from a second dart and dived toward the planet. "Little busy, Rodney."

"Yes with the darts you could be shooting at!" Rodney snapped.

"I am certain Colonel Sheppard will engage the weapons shortly, Doctor McKay." Teyla said serenely. "John?"

John managed to get them flying straight again, the readout on the screen in front of him showed the position of the darts and he reached out to the weapons with his mind. The jumper gave an unhappy murmur in the back of his head.

"Weapons are offline!" He stated forcefully. "McKay?!"

"Really?" Rodney asked worriedly. "Are you sure they're offline because…"

"They're offline!" John yanked them left to avoid the dart's weapon fire.

"On it!" Rodney jumped up.

John was peripherally aware his Guide was in the back compartment fiddling with the control panel. He kept his mind on evading the darts; they had started to team up. John swore under his breath as he avoided weapons' fire from one and almost ran straight into a stream from the other.

Ford visibly gulped beside John, a white-fingered grip on the console in front of him. "We need to get back to the Stargate, sir."

"McKay!" John yelled urgently seeing the darts line up again.

"Try it now!"

John reached out and this time the jumper gave a squeal of glee and the weapons were suddenly there. Two Ancient drones shot out from the jumper and dived toward the nearest dart. The second dart made to peel away and John knew they couldn't let it escape. The two darts were likely scouts for a hive and if they made it back…

He reached out for a second time and…

Something was coming from the planet – a lightening storm of some kind.

John's eyes widened. "Hang on!"

The blue and white electricity hit them with force, rocking the jumper badly. From the small thud in the back and plaintive 'ow' Rodney muttered, John figured his Guide had lost his footing. He watched as the storm washed over them and stretched further catching the dart and obliterating it.

Teyla gasped.

"Woah!" Ford said.

"That's…" John struggled to find the right word.

"Cool?" suggested Ford, still wide-eyed and staring at the spiralling debris of the dart.

"Weird." John replied, rolling his shoulders to ease the tension that had locked in his muscles during the dogfight. "I'm going to go with weird."

"Weird's right." Rodney said limping up behind him and rubbing his elbow. "The readings say that it wasn't a natural phenomenon. Not that a strange electrical discharge which does nothing to us and destroys Wraith suggests natural phenomenon."

John just nodded. "So if it's not natural…"

"Ancient weapon?" Ford said gleefully.

"Perhaps it will be powered with one of the Ancient devices you seek for Atlantis." Teyla added hopefully. "If the people on the planet know of such a device…"

"Yes, yes, yes." Rodney said brusquely. "Let's go make contact with the natives."

John considered the options and nodded. It was likely that there was a hive ship in the area and they'd had a close call but they couldn't afford to pass up the opportunity to find either a ZPM or people who knew about ZPMs. Moreover, they would need to give the people on the planet some warning of a possible Wraith attack since the hive was likely to investigate the loss of its scouts. He scanned the planet for signs of habitation and directed the jumper down to the nearest settlement.

It quickly became clear that the people of the planet probably had no clue about any Ancient weapon or ZPM. They looked like good folk to John; a peaceful tribe having a market day. He sensed Rodney's impatience as they agreed to meet with the local Priestess and trekked from the small town to the countryside and what appeared to be an old religious dwelling. The stones were very old, smooth and yet limed with moss; the pathway was well-trodden; the old wooden gate recently mended.

An attractive young woman tended potted plants in the small courtyard and she rose to greet them, her dark eyes bright with curiosity.

"Chaya, may I introduce Colonel John Sheppard and his team; they come from the stars. Colonel, this is Chaya Sar, the one who speaks with Athar's voice." The villager who had accompanied them on the trip smiled expectantly at John.

John pasted on a charming smile, tried to ignore the empathic irritation Rodney was bleeding into the spiritual plane and the way the scent of the blossom almost overpowered him, and clasped Chaya's outstretched hand. "We are honoured to meet you."

"And I you." Chaya said warmly. Her red hair lifted with a breeze. She was beautiful, John thought absently. Her figure, clad in a pale blue cropped top and matching diaphanous skirt, was slim and curvaceous. Her features were almost plain but for the liveliness in her eyes and her wide mobile mouth. There was intelligence in her gaze as they looked at each other for a long moment, and he felt the tug of something deep within him; his Sentinel surged forward…

Rodney cleared his throat loudly behind John dragging him back to the present.

"Um," John began ungracefully, "may I present my team; Doctor Rodney McKay, our chief scientist; Teyla Emmagan of Athosia, and Lieutenant Ford, my second in command."

Chaya greeted them all politely but her attention returned to John. "You are a Warrior Prince."

John felt his usual flicker of unease at the term, especially as the few villagers with them broke into excited if hushed chatter, but he nodded. "I am."

"Athar tells of tales of old when the Warrior Princes roamed the stars. It has been a long time since any saw your kind here." Chaya spoke with a calm assuredness and unconscious authority.

"We returned just recently to Atlantea." John said. "In fact that's kind of why we wanted to talk to you."

"Oh?" prompted Chaya.

John glanced at Teyla who stepped forward naturally.

"When we came to your planet through a gate in the sky, we were attacked by Wraith."

Chaya's face remained calm and serene; her eyes gave away no surprise or horror. She turned to her villagers and back to Teyla. "We do not know of these Wraith you speak of."

"Perhaps that is because your planet is well protected by a very powerful, very destructive weapon." Rodney asserted, unable to keep quiet. "Such as the one we saw destroy the Wraith."

Chaya stiffened but she kept her gaze on John. "What you witnessed must have been Athar's protection; she watches over us."

John shot Rodney a look to keep him quiet. "We'd like to thank Athar then. Her timely intervention helped to save us too."

Chaya smiled and reached for John's hand again. "Come. I was about to have tea."

John beamed at her brightly, trying hard not to pull away from her touch. His skin seemed to itch where her fingers clasped his hand.

"You need to let go of Colonel Sheppard." Rodney suddenly asserted. "As a Warrior Prince he's more sensitive and your touch is hurting him."

John's eyebrow shot up even as Chaya gave a soft moue of distress and let go of his hand. It was the first time Rodney had ever made a comment that would even suggest he was aware of John's state of being. John knew as a guide Rodney had to be aware of any Sentinel on a spiritual and empathic level but as Rodney mostly ignored his gifts, John had figured the scientist just didn't actively pay attention to John.

"My apologies, Colonel Sheppard." Chaya said contritely. "I was unaware and…"

"No harm done." John said quickly, smoothing over the moment. "And please, call me John."

"Kirk!" Rodney coughed out. He held up a hand as Chaya gazed at him with narrowed eyes. "I'm fine. Just a frog…in my throat." He waved a hand up by his neck.

John flashed him another look that warned him to behave and he was pleased when he saw Teyla do the same. Teyla's disapproval was rapidly becoming something they all wanted to avoid and Rodney for all his bluster wasn't immune.

The tea was lukewarm and bitter. John could only manage a few sips before a churn of nausea had him setting the cup down. Rodney silently handed him his water canteen and John equally wordlessly sipped the cool liquid gratefully before handing it back. He tuned back into the discussion and Teyla's impassioned plea for permission to allow others from the Pegasus galaxy to find sanctuary on Proculus.

"Your request is honourable." Chaya acknowledged.

"But?" questioned Rodney sharply.

"But it is not my place to grant such a request." Chaya said firmly. "I must retire and pray to Athar for her blessing."

John gave a cheerful smile, subtly elbowing Rodney before he could make another snarky comment. "We could join you in your prayers if that would help."

Teyla quickly nodded her agreement.

Chaya shook her head though. "Rest. This may take some time." She disappeared before John could argue and the villagers melted away leaving only the team around the fire.

John took advantage of the sudden privacy to throw his tea into a nearby pot plant.

"You're not really buying into this mumbo-jumbo, are you?" Rodney asked bluntly.

Ford rolled his eyes.

"I'm respecting that they buy into the mumbo-jumbo, McKay, especially since gaining Athar's approval may depend on it." John's tone held a cautionary note.

"They are clearly a very religious people." Teyla commented.

"You can say that again." Ford said, taking off his cap and swiping a hand over his head.

"Look, we didn't pick up any sign of the weapon or ZPM in the jumper when we scanned the planet." John said evenly. "Whether the devices are shielded or whether it was some strange alien being they've decided is a God, we're not going to get anywhere telling them they're wrong about everything they believe."

"So long as we're clear that they are wrong." Rodney said belligerently.

Teyla glowered at him. "Their beliefs are not wrong, Rodney."

"Just…try to be tolerant." John stressed, stretching out on an empty bench.

"Tolerant? I'm tolerant. I'm the very picture of tolerant." Rodney said defensively.

Ford snorted and headed for the other empty bench.

Teyla sighed and gestured at Rodney. "Get some rest, Doctor McKay. It has been my experience that in these situations, we could be waiting some time."

Rodney gave a harrumph but subsided on a wooden stump near to John's head. He pulled out a laptop from his backpack and began to work.

At first the tapping keys was relaxing but it was soon drowned out by the sounds of a chant; John flinched as an effort to dial his sense of sound down went awry and he instead got almost deafened by the buzzing of an insect colony on the far side of the courtyard. He shook his head slightly.

"Are you…" Rodney looked up briefly from his laptop before returning his gaze swiftly to his monitor. "Your senses are out of whack."

John rubbed his nose and grimaced. "Yeah." He couldn't deny he'd been having difficulties since they'd landed on Proculus.

"You, uh, have exercises you do, right?" Rodney said almost tentatively, his attention rigidly affixed to his computer.

"McKay…" John began confused at the sudden concern.

"Look, I know it's not…and that I…" Rodney's hand whirled around to the side of his computer and he still didn't look at John, "but your Eagle Owl's been glaring at me this whole time."

"He has?" John blinked in surprise. He reached out to his spirit animal and his Eagle Owl was suddenly there; perched behind Rodney on a tree and glaring at him. Rodney's parrot was perched beside him.

"Something on this planet is causing your senses to go whacky." Rodney theorised, pounding on the keys some more. "Maybe it's the Ancient weapon trying to get to your gene through the shielding or maybe it's the pollen here. It's anybody's guess but you're definitely reacting to something."

"But he's going to be OK, right?" Ford jumped in; he'd been unashamedly eavesdropping on them.

"Do I look like Carson?" Rodney sniped. "I don't know."

"I'm not affected." Ford continued. "Is this because he's an Alpha?"

"Again; not Carson!" snapped Rodney, scowling at Ford.

"We should depart as soon as soon as we can." Teyla murmured. "If something about this planet is harmful to the Colonel it would be prudent to leave."

"Maybe it calls into question us looking for sanctuary here." Ford added. "If this place is harmful for Alpha Sentinels…"

"Finally." Rodney muttered. "You've actually said something that's reasonably intelligent. We can't use this place."

"Woah," John said, "let's all not be too hasty here." He flapped his hand toward Rodney. "We have no idea if my senses thing is something to do with the planet."

"We don't know that it isn't." Rodney remarked bitingly. "It may have affected you first because you're an Alpha, but Ford could be next, or…" horror flitted over his face, "me! I could be next! I'm a Guide! It might affect us too!"

"OK, that's enough." John ignored his whacky senses and pulled himself into a sitting position to better glare at them all. "If Athar comes back with the go ahead then we'll come back with a medical team and do a full biological and environmental study. Even if this place isn't suitable for Sentinels and Guides, it could still have value as a sanctuary for others."

Rodney opened his mouth to protest.

"You said it yourself, McKay; you're not Carson." John stated bluntly.

The scientist glared but he couldn't argue the point.

Teyla softly cleared her throat. "I agree with Colonel Sheppard. It is wise for us to have patience and see what unfolds."

Rodney gave a sharp jerky nod and Ford gestured with his hat to signal his acceptance. John shot Teyla a grateful smile and stretched back out again. He focused on the control exercises for his senses.

Time passed.

One of the villagers stopped by with a broth made with a local bird for lunch but John had barely sipped a mouthful before his stomach roiled with nausea again. He'd settled for a protein bar from his pack and was grateful when his body tolerated the bland offering. All the while John could feel Rodney's concerned eyes on him and he had no idea what to do with that so he resumed his nap.

John heard the chanting stop and he opened his eyes carefully. The sun was low in the sky; it was late afternoon.

"They're coming back." John said, scrambling less than gracefully to his feet.

Ford and Teyla calmly repacked the weapons they'd set about cleaning, and Rodney muttered under his breath as he tucked his laptop back into his backpack.

A short moment later, Chaya appeared, two of the villagers trailing her.

John smiled at her but he could already read the set of her jaw and his heart sank a little. "Chaya."

"My apologies for keeping you waiting." Chaya began softly. "Unfortunately Athar has not granted your request. Her protection is for our people and our people alone."

Rodney snorted. "And I'm sure you didn't know that answer before you went and chanted to this mythical Athar!"

"McKay!" John said sternly, shooting him a look to shut him up. He glanced over at Ford. "Lieutenant, perhaps you and Doctor McKay should make a head start for the jumper? We could do with a systems check before we leave."

Rodney looked outraged but Ford nudged him down the path with a brisk 'will do, sir' in acknowledgement of John's order.

"I apologise for Doctor McKay." John said once he was certain Rodney was out of earshot.

"He is passionate about his science and that sometimes blinds him to the beliefs of others." Teyla added smoothly. "He means no harm."

"You do not need to apologise for him." Chaya shrugged, a casual lift of her shoulders that put John in mind of the French. "His honesty is sincere."

"Then let me be as equally honest." John said forcefully. He grimaced but he had an idea what words would be best to reach her. "I'm a…a Warrior Prince and my interest here is the safety and protection of my tribe. This planet with its blessing of Athar's protection could save many lives. You say her protection is only for your people, well, I'd argue we're of your people; you are of ours. We're of the same tribe, Chaya."

"You speak from the heart."

John flushed, but he held her eyes with his and nodded. "Look, why don't you, and maybe some of your people," he gestured towards the villagers behind her, "come back with us. Learn who we are. See for yourself that we are the same people. And then…and then come back here and share what you learn with Athar. If the answer is still no…well, we'll accept that and simply request your friendship."

Chaya gazed at him for a long moment and John felt as though his spirit was being weighed and assessed. A breeze swept through the courtyard and Chaya's eyes drifted shut as it brushed over her. Her eyes opened again.

"I will come with you." Chaya replied with a smile.

"You will?" John said half-surprised. He pinned on another bright smile. "Well, great. Uh…"

Teyla stepped in. "Perhaps you should gather everything you need for a stay."

John breathed a sigh of relief when they finally departed almost an hour later. He took the rear and let Teyla take over keeping Chaya company. He felt a touch dizzy and sick. He really hated the infirmary but he knew he needed to get back to Atlantis and have Carson check him out. Maybe Rodney was right and it was something to do with the planet.

His eyes darted toward Chaya; she glanced behind her, noticed his attention and smiled, blushing before she faced forward again and continued her discussion with Teyla. He felt his Sentinel stir again, a strange protectiveness bubbling up.

John shook himself. She was a Priestess and he was trying to establish diplomatic relations. That was it. She was an attractive woman and he was attracted. It didn't mean anything. He breathed in and caught her scent again; flowers and herbs and…and something intangible. It was intoxicating and so different from…from Rodney.

Guilt surged up.

What was he doing thinking about anyone but his Guide?

But Rodney wasn't his Guide. They weren't bonded and Rodney had made it clear that he had no interest in bonding. John was free to consider other possibilities just as Rodney was (hadn't he gone on some kind of date with a botanist?), but the truth was that he didn't want other possibilities and moreover, he was the commander of a remote base in enemy territory – he had no time for other possibilities. He had to keep his mind on what was important.

"Focus, John." He muttered under his breath and kept walking. He had a tribe to protect; that's all he needed to focus on.

o-O-o

Rodney paced back and forth in Carson's office. He had sneaked into the room after the nurse had dismissed him from his post-mission check-up. He needed to talk to someone and that meant Carson.

It had been a surprise to Rodney when he'd agreed to go with the Atlantis expedition that he'd been so pleased that Carson was coming along with them; that he and Carson were friends. They'd interacted a lot during the early days of the project in Antarctica and somehow Carson hadn't taken offence at Rodney's manner and Rodney had stopped finding Carson's story of his Mum's ailments annoying (well, he learned to tune them out), and there they were; friends.

Rodney didn't have a lot of friends.

After he'd saved Jack O'Neill's life, and before he'd stupidly supported the SGD's attempt to break up her bond with O'Neill, he'd believed he and Sam had something of a friendship. One based in their scientific rivalry and simmering tension but a friendship nevertheless.

And he and Jonas Quinn had been friendly before the Kelownan headed back to his home planet.

But really that was the sum total of his friends.

Unless he counted his cat.

Which he did.

But not the point; the point was that he needed to talk to someone and that someone was Carson. Only Carson was busy giving their visiting Hot Alien Priestess a medical check. And possibly then trying to find out what was going on with…with John.

Rodney shook his head. It was becoming increasingly difficult for him to think of John as anything other John. He still called him Colonel in the field but in their off-hours it seemed too formal especially given their status and true relationship. And it was the latter that was preying on Rodney's mind.

There were only a few people on the expedition who knew that he and John were a match as Sentinel and Guide; a true match. John had sat in the chair and Rodney had raced to his side and…and they'd known the instant Rodney had told John to think of where he was in the universe and the Sentinel had automatically responded to his Guide.

But Rodney hadn't wanted to be bonded and John had graciously accepted that – much more graciously than Rodney would have done in his place.

Rodney snapped his fingers hurriedly. He could talk to Teyla.

Maybe.

Rodney paused in his pacing and considered the idea.

Teyla was very approachable; wise and serene. She was perfect to talk to in every way except for the fact that she had absolutely no understanding of Guides and Sentinels.

There was Ford…

No.

There really wasn't Ford.

Rodney was as likely to confide in Ford as he was a Wraith. Maybe it was unfair but Ford reminded Rodney too much of Albert Schwinder who'd ambushed a sixteen year old Rodney in the university lab and threatened him with harm if Rodney didn't do his school work (he hadn't, of course; he'd gone immediately to his Professor and Schwinder had been expelled). Rodney winced; his face distorting into a frowning scowl. It was an unfair comparison. Ford might be stupid (who didn't like prime numbers?) but he was a nice kid. Still: not talking to Ford.

And John was out…so out given he was the topic Rodney wanted to discuss.

Carson was the only choice.

Or maybe Heightmeyer the shrink. But he didn't think he needed a shrink to listen to him ramble on about his relationship with John.

Carson burst through the door, stopped and blinked at Rodney. "There you are! Come on, the others are waiting!"

"Huh?" Rodney watched as Carson charged out again and couldn't do anything else but follow him. "Where are you…"

Carson yanked back a curtain revealing an infirmary bed containing a pissed off looking John – and oh, Rodney could feel John's disgruntlement on the spiritual plane. Elizabeth stood on the opposite side with a grim looking Sergeant Bates and a worried Ford.

"What's going on?" Rodney demanded, his own anxiety levels shooting up. "Is he OK?" He wagged a finger at John. "I knew he wasn't OK. His senses are completely off! Like completely loopy!" He waggled his fingers around his head. "It was the planet! Something on that planet and…"

"McKay!" John broke into his ramble and forced Rodney into falling silent.

He lifted his chin. "I'm allowed to be concerned."

"Of course, Rodney," Elizabeth said soothingly, "but we're not here because of the Colonel."

"We're not?" asked Rodney trying hard not to feel sheepish.

"We're meeting to discuss our guest." Carson informed him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Rodney hissed.

Carson stared at him. "I just did."

"Gentlemen…" Elizabeth's tone had taken on an air of long suffering mother; he and Carson turned to her with identical apologetic looks.

"Where is she, anyway?" Rodney asked, checking the room in case she was hiding in a corner.

"Teyla kindly offered to give her a tour as the Colonel was indisposed." Elizabeth explained.

John folded his arms over his chest, pulling the infirmary scrubs taut. "Well, Doc? Floor's yours."

"Right-o." Carson twitched under the collective focus of the entire group. "Well, firstly, the lass is in very good health."

"That's…good?" John suggested, looking faintly perplexed.

Rodney was glad John looked faintly perplexed because it saved him the trouble. "Great. She's in perfect health and…"

"Perfect health, Rodney." Carson interrupted. "Do you know how rare that is?"

"Rare?" Rodney offered somewhat taken aback by Carson's ferocity.

"Maybe as rare as something like an electrical storm which takes out a dart but leaves us completely intact being a natural phenomenon?" John asked tersely.

Rodney shot him a look but when he turned to Carson the doctor was nodding.

"Aye, Colonel," Carson said seriously, "that rare." He paused. "I think she's an Ancient."

They all stared at him.

"She's an Ancient?" Rodney pointed back towards the door. "She's a Priestess! She spent hours chanting! She's…"

"Living on a planet with an incredibly sophisticated weapon." Elizabeth cut in.

"Yes," Rodney conceded with a sigh, "that."

"But this is wonderful," Elizabeth enthused, "if she's really an Ancient, imagine what she could teach us!"

Rodney nodded. Not that he thought Chaya would teach them anything. She certainly hadn't agreed to their using the planet as a sanctuary. Although given John's reaction to it that might not be a bad thing.

"I don't think she's going to teach us anything."

Rodney almost checked to make sure it had been John who had spoken and not himself.

"The Colonel's right." Ford agreed. "Even if she is an Ancient, she's not exactly come clean about it."

"Which gives me cause for concern." Bates offered. The stocky Sergeant adjusted his stance. "If she is an Ancient, she may know things about the city that we don't."

"I don't think she's here to sabotage us and it's very likely that she's simply wary of giving information to strangers." Elizabeth offered. "Maybe we can encourage her to confide in us." Her eyes landed on John and her lips twitched. "She did seem quite taken with you, Colonel."

"You are not pimping out an Alpha Sentinel!" Rodney exploded, thrusting a finger at Weir in protest.

John's head snapped around to him so fast that Rodney was concerned he'd damaged the hair.

"What?" Rodney demanded as John continued to stare at him. "You can't tell me that you want to be pimped out?"

John shifted back to look at Elizabeth. "He has a point."

"I'm not suggesting that," Elizabeth said amused, "just," she shrugged, "use your natural charm on her."

Rodney was tempted to speak but John beat him to it.

"I'm glad you're finally acknowledging I have natural charm, but may I also point out that I'm in this bed for a reason."

"Aye that he is." Carson agreed. "His senses are acting strangely."

"Still?" Rodney blurted out. "I thought it was environmental? On the planet?"

"That is the most likely explanation," Carson said calmly, "but truthfully the Colonel could just be reacting to several months of stressful conditions here as an unbonded Sentinel."

John hated that idea; Rodney didn't need to test the empathic waters to know that. He felt a small curdle of guilt in his gut again.

"Can you give him something to stabilise him for this evening?" Elizabeth asked crisply, her fingers tightening around her ever present digital notepad.

Carson immediately looked unhappy. "Drugs are not the answer here."

"But there is an answer?" Elizabeth pressed.

Carson darted a look at Rodney. "A temporary tether to a Guide may help to anchor his senses."

Rodney's heart sank. He didn't want to offer a temporary anything; he was considering offering John a bond…he just had concerns before making the offer. Such as whether John would even want him after Rodney had rejected him.

"Rodney?" prompted Elizabeth.

"No." Rodney said crossing his arms over his chest. His Guide instinct was surging strongly; he needed to protect John. "He needs rest not being sent out on some honey-trap mission." He tried not to sound defensive.

John's eyes fell away from Rodney before he seemed to gather himself – and damn it, John's Eagle Owl was back and staring at Rodney again. "McKay's right."

"I am?"

"He is?"

Rodney glared at Ford and Carson who'd spoken at the same time as himself.

"He is." John stated firmly. "I should work on getting my senses under control right now." He held up a hand when Elizabeth went to argue. "Why don't you arrange breakfast for us all tomorrow morning? I'll join you then and, you know, do the charm thing."

Carson looked pointedly at John.

"With the Doc's permission." John added hastily.

Carson held his stern visage for another long moment before subsiding and nodding. "Aye. I'll agree to it if he's better in the morning."

The meeting broke up and Rodney hovered for a long moment before he realised Carson was gearing up for another set of tests for John. Rodney gave up on talking to his friend and made his way to the lab. If he couldn't get a resolution on what was going on with him and John, he could at least research Proculus.

o-O-o

John shifted restlessly.

The infirmary bed was kitted out with Sentinel friendly everything but he still couldn't relax. He winced as his hearing picked up on footsteps approaching the door.

His senses were still playing up and he had been transferred to the Sentinel suite they'd set up. He'd run through his exercises, adjusting the dials on his senses until everything was tolerable. The problem was that none of his dials were anywhere near normal.

What had triggered him?

John pondered the question for a long moment. He'd been fine in the jumper on the way to the planet and he'd felt alright when they'd observed the village. Maybe he'd started feeling a little off in the village and by the time they'd met Chaya…

Something on the planet had irritated the Sentinel and made him hyper-aware and, thinking clearly now he'd regained some control of his senses, for John that meant one thing; there was a threat. Since he hadn't regained full control despite returning to his own territory and the relative safety of Atlantis, John figured that meant his Sentinel wasn't convinced the threat was gone.

Which it wasn't since Teyla and Weir still had schemes to try and convince Chaya to allow them to have a sanctuary on the planet.

Well, that wasn't going to happen.

John was going to overrule them in the morning. They needed to accept Athar's decision and leave Proculus alone.

He closed his eyes and tried to settle his mind enough to sleep.

A small chime sounded on the door and it slid open.

John blinked. Atlantis was very accommodating to John; the city loved his gene. He'd locked the door and only he could open it. Except someone else had just overridden his control.

Chaya peeked in hesitantly. "John?"

She was an Ancient, John reminded himself; that explained her door-opening expertise.

"Chaya." He got up from the bed and beckoned her inside. There was a seating area to his left and he gestured for her to sit.

"I'm sorry to disturb your rest." Chaya said, perching on one of the comfortable sofas and leaving the second seat next to her obviously free for him to join her.

He took the chair next to her, too tempted by the thought of sitting next to her to trust himself. Protecting the tribe, he reminded himself.

John smiled encouragingly. "It's OK; I wasn't sleeping."

"I missed you at dinner." Chaya said, leaning forward. Her dark eyes twinkled. "And during the tour."

John shrugged. "I'm sure Teyla did a better job than I would have done." He offered a half-sheepish smile. "I'm kinda terrible at the whole diplomacy thing."

"You are a Warrior Prince." Chaya said as though that explained everything. Maybe it did. The Sentinels were meant to fight and protect.

"I promised Doctor Weir I'd join you at breakfast." John said, struggling to know what to say.

"I could not wait. I…" Chaya got to her feet and paced away a few steps.

John watched her carefully.

Chaya wrapped her arms around her waist. "I believed your words when you spoke of being one people." She sighed and lifted her eyes to meet his, a rueful expression in the dark depths. "I fear though that I have not lived among people for a long time."

"You don't visit the village much?" asked John curious.

Chaya shook her head, allowing the long strands to bounce a touch against her shoulders. "I rarely walk among the people. They visit to pay thanks to Athar and to receive her blessing but there is no-one…no-one who I may simply talk with, confide my hopes and fears within."

The loneliness in her voice was heart-breaking and John felt a surge of protectiveness.

"There is something about you, John." Chaya confessed. "Something that calls to me."

John couldn't stop himself; he got to his feet and went over to her. He stopped with barely a foot between them. He lifted a hand and cupped her cheek.

"Something about you calls to me too." He admitted, the words were torn unwillingly from him but he couldn't stop himself saying them.

Chaya lifted a hand and covered his. She gazed at him for a long moment, staring into his eyes. "You make me yearn for things I have long forgotten I wanted."

John's hand slid around her jaw and into her hair. His senses were filled with her. Tingles along his palm where he touched her; the scent of flowers and herbs undiminished; the depths of her eyes as they pulled him in; the sound of her pulse racing to meet his. His lips touched hers to taste fleetingly and then returned.

They both sank into the kiss.

And the angry spiritual squawk of a parrot tugged him back into reality.

John managed an apologetic half-smile, half-grimace and rubbed the back of his neck furiously as he stepped back and away from Chaya. "Sorry. I, uh…this is…" he gestured at her, "I didn't mean to do that."

Chaya managed a smile. "I do not object if that is your concern."

John shook his head. "No, well, yes but, no." He sighed at Chaya's visibly amused expression. "I'm…very attracted to you." He winced. "Obviously."

"I am attracted to you also." Chaya confirmed smiling widely.

"But we can't," he gestured between them, "I have responsibilities here and…there's someone."

Chaya's amusement fell away. "Someone you're involved with?"

"Not exactly." John hedged. "It's complicated."

Complicated was only way to describe his relationship with Rodney.

Chaya took a step towards him and John resisted the urge to step back. "You have a Spirit Walker to guide you?"

"Spirit Walker?" questioned John surprised at the term.

"There are stories of the Warrior Princes and they always have a Spirit Walker to help them walk the path and understand the wishes of the spirits; to provide each with the balance of the other." Chaya explained. "It is rare to find one without the other."

"Yes, it is." John said quietly. "And yes, my situation involves a Spirit Walker and he's the reason why you and I…why we can't do this."

"And this calling between us?" asked Chaya.

"I don't know." John admitted. "Maybe you recognise something within me that's familiar." He hinted, wondering if she'd admit her heritage to him.

"We are of the same people." She murmured and smiled.

John managed a smile of his own. "Exactly."

Chaya shook her head. "I should go."

John didn't argue. He walked her over to the door and watched as she left. The door slid closed and Atlantis obligingly locked it again.

There was an ache deep in his chest and he rubbed at his sternum absently as he considered Chaya's visit.

Why had he kissed her?

John closed his eyes and tried to understand what had happened. His Sentinel had taken over, he realised. Something about Chaya called to his Sentinel's primal nature. He imagined himself with her a touch wistfully and shook his head.

She kept too many secrets and he couldn't see any kind of future for them given his commitment to Atlantis and her duties to Athar on Proculus. And that wasn't even considering that John needed someone else entirely to be whole.

He frowned and opened his eyes.

The white parrot on his headboard settled him.

He had Rodney.

Well, he didn't have Rodney, but he had Rodney's friendship and presence in his life and that was enough.

His spirit ached again.

It would have to be enough.

o-O-o

_Rodney found himself on the observation deck of a spaceship and knew immediately he was on the spirit plane. The last thing he remembered was running a search for Proculus on the Ancient database…_

_Light streamed by him in furious waves. It wasn't hyperspace technology, he mused; he knew what that looked like. A brief look around him established the ship was alien in construction; dark and dismal, it looked abandoned. He wandered forward to get a better view of the slipstream instead._

_"They call it FTL."_

_Rodney turned around and frowned at the young girl in the doorway. She was dressed in a simple blue tunic and white pants outfit but there was something about the cut that suggested 'alien' and the gold jewellery that adorned her neck and wrist looked exotic. Her looks were dark; brunette with chocolate coloured eyes._

_"And you are?" He asked scathingly._

_"You can call me CJ." She moved forward to join him._

_Rodney snapped his fingers. "You! You're the girl in Sam's report! The Guide she spoke to on the spirit plane when she became a Sentinel!"_

_"Yes." CJ agreed calmly._

_Rodney's head swivelled around taking another good look at his surroundings. "Then…you took Sam to Atlantis, and I'm…where?"_

_"It's a secret." CJ said. "A mystery that the Stargate programme will unravel one day and you'll visit. But this is not your destiny, Rodney."_

_"Huh." Rodney crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her. "So why am I here?"_

_CJ tilted her head. "You wanted someone to talk to you. Your need reached out through time and space, and…"_

_"And you answered." Rodney said sceptically._

_"Well, I did want to talk with you anyway." CJ shrugged, and offered a cheeky smile. "You've been pretty stubborn."_

_Rodney stiffened defensively, his chest puffing out. "Look…"_

_CJ gestured with a jerk of her head and a waggle of her eyebrows behind Rodney. He turned and found John's Eagle Owl perched with his own parrot on the back of a chair._

_Rodney deflated like a balloon and dropped his eyes to the floor._

_"You were cruel." CJ was suddenly there, stroking the Eagle Owl._

_"I didn't mean…" Rodney began hurriedly before throwing up a hand, "I just wanted…" his voice trailed away._

_"You wanted to be normal." CJ said. "You've always hated your Guide gifts, the talents that make you walk in the Spirit World when your mind and your intellect is so affixed with science."_

_"A Guide is nothing more than a glorified baby-sitter…" Rodney began to rant._

_"A Guide is someone with talent, strength and spirit." CJ said sharply. "An equal partner to any they balance."_

_Rodney flushed warmly._

_"Your negativity towards your gifts constrains you." CJ continued. "It stops you have gaining all that you can be; knowing all that you can know. It closes your heart to the beliefs and spirituality of others."_

_"You sound like Teyla." Rodney muttered._

_"She is a wise woman." CJ said. "And perhaps you would not be here seeking answers if you had embraced your gifts and, more importantly, the gift of your partner."_

_Rodney sighed and slumped against a nearby bar, unable to form an argument._

_"You are beginning to see with your friendship with John just a taste of what could be if you were bonded as a Sentinel and Guide." CJ said quietly. "And you are beginning to use your gifts. You used your empathy to ease your colleague's torment from the Wraith's feeding and you shielded your Sentinel from the worst of the Wraith's rage. You fought for your Sentinel."_

_"I didn't…" Rodney grimaced. "It had nothing to do with…I didn't go to help John because he was my Sentinel!"_

_"No," CJ agreed with a smile, "you went because he was your friend."_

_Rodney squirmed uncomfortable with the truth._

_"And you have been debating whether it would be so bad to bond with him ever since." CJ concluded._

_Rodney swept his hands over his face and through his hair, scrubbing at the thinning strands almost furiously. "He won't…I screwed up and he doesn't want me now." His mind flitted to the attractive Priestess._

_"He's your Sentinel." CJ corrected sharply. "He'll always want you."_

_"Why?" Rodney blurted out. "I mean, he has women drooling over him and…"_

_"All I know is that he yearns for a bond." CJ said. "His want and need for it are apparent enough if you reach out spiritually to him."_

_Rodney pursed his lips._

_"He will need his Guide, he will need balance, if he is to succeed in the Queen's mission." CJ said._

_Rodney frowned. "What mission?"_

_"Perhaps you should ask your Sentinel." CJ laughed. "But remember, Rodney; a curse can be destroyed if it is lifted…the Queen brings balance and sanity to the female Sentinels in your tribe, her chosen Warrior carries her blessing within him."_

_Like that was helpful advice…_

Rodney jerked awake and shot upright. His back protested the sudden movement and he groaned. He looked at his watch and sighed. It was early – almost time for breakfast; he should go to his quarters, shower and change. Instead, he tapped the keyboard and the lock screen appeared with its revolving logo for the expedition. He entered his password and crowed when he realised he had found the entry for Proculus.

His mind slipped back to his dream – it had to have been a dream – and he stared unseeingly at the monitor for a long moment.

It was his subconscious, Rodney told himself briskly. He'd been dwelling on the dilemma of approaching John ever since their last mission; it had been the topic he'd wanted to discuss with Carson. That's all it was. A dream and his subconscious working out problems…

He focused on the monitor.

Proculus: agrarian, settled by a small group of humans on the orders of Ganos Lal, a member of the High Council.

He tapped on a link next to the name and grimaced at the agricultural information. He sometimes despaired of the Ancients' record-taking. Want to know all about the three different types of grain they'd seeded to help the settlement eat? No problems. Information on the very powerful weapon they'd used to protect the planet? Nothing. Nada. Zip.

He tapped out and tried another search, hunting instead for the name of Chaya Sar. Perhaps if she was an Ancient as Carson believed, she would be in the database. He was surprised when it worked. He initiated the Ancient to English translation and waited.

His dream seemed surreal but the content…

He flushed. He had been cruel in his rejection of John and the other man had to know that Rodney had considered embracing his Guide gift when there had been a possibility of bonding with Sam. But bonding with a beautiful and intelligent blonde female would have provided him with a very different future than the one he was facing with John; it would have provided him with the possibility of family, children, academic growth and a…a trophy on his arm because that's how he had viewed Sam at the time. Bonding with John had seemed beneath him in comparison.

It was petty and arrogant and all of the worst qualities that his sister Jeannie had ever accused him of having.

His jaw tensed.

OK, so he might have reacted badly to the idea of John but being around him, working with him as part of their team…he couldn't deny that Brendan Gall had been right; Rodney had changed – and it had been John who had changed him.

John, who selflessly charged in where others feared to tread; who put his life on the line for the expedition time after time.

John, who was as beautiful and intelligent as Sam; who was as dedicated and honourable.

John, who had never given Rodney a hard time over his choice not to bond but who had simply respected Rodney's decision.

John, who had faced the horrifying months since they'd arrived in Pegasus without the comfort of a bond and a Guide; a partner.

Guilt swamped him for a long moment. But as Rodney pushed it away he wondered if the Guide in his dream, CJ, been right; if John still wanted a bond. For the first time in his life he was tempted to open up his gifts and See…

The database pinged. He patted himself on the back and began to read. His smile fell away and his eyes widened.

John.

John was in danger.

Rodney pushed away from the table, uncaring of the stool that fell to the floor, and raced from the lab.

He had to get to John.

o-O-o

John swallowed the urge to sigh and exchanged a look of shared concern with Bates at Elizabeth's overly solicitous welcoming of Chaya into the conference room.

Bates and John had a somewhat tense relationship but they respected each other and both were completely devoted to the safety of Atlantis. They had met earlier that morning in John's room and agreed that it would be best for Chaya to return to Proculus and for them to pursue nothing more than a trading relationship with the planet. Neither of them had yet to bring the leader of the expedition into their decision and they both knew it was Elizabeth who would be the hardest to convince. For the most part she was a good leader; fair and brave in her own way. But for someone who had actively participated in international politics on the side of justice and fairness, she sometimes gave scant regard to a Sentinel's instincts and could be as stubborn as a mule.

John had managed to get Teyla to agree. Teyla respected his instincts as a Warrior Prince and had quickly acquiesced to the plan. Ford was on board, acknowledging John's right as Alpha Sentinel to determine the safe path for the tribe, and John had meant to track down Rodney but had been waylaid by Carson and more tests. Carson was also on board though and John figured Rodney's reactions the day before would probably mean he'd support the 'let's keep our distance' here even if Proculus housed some kind of Ancient weapon.

John greeted Chaya with a friendly smile and pulled out a chair for her. The oddly shaped conference table had been set with white linen tablecloths, the good cutlery and china. Baskets of fresh croissants were arranged with pots of native preserves, the last of their real butter, and bowls of fruit including some lovely strawberries.

"This is a wondrous spread." Chaya remarked. "Everything looks so good."

"Tastes just as good." Ford assured her with a breezy smile.

Chaya opened a jar and breathed the scent of Athosian pluberries. "I have not had these for a long time."

"They are native to my planet." Teyla commented as she took the seat next to Chaya. "I was not aware they grew elsewhere in the galaxy."

"They have not grown on Proculus in many years but I remember as a child…" Chaya gave a shrug.

John wondered where Rodney was as he took his own seat.

"You grew up on Proculus?" Elizabeth asked leaning forward eagerly.

"I was fostered there." Chaya said, pausing in her smearing of jam onto a croissant. "My mother was the Priestess before me. She took me in when I was a baby and raised me. When she moved on, I became the Priestess in her stead."

"That's fascinating." Elizabeth said before anyone else could reply. "Forgive me for asking but your birth parents were from Proculus?"

Chaya glanced at John who gave a small apologetic grimace.

"Doctor Weir is very interested in learning all about you." He commented.

Elizabeth glared at him.

"We all are." He amended hastily.

Chaya's lips twitched as though she knew exactly what John had meant. "I'm afraid I do not know who my birth parents are, Doctor Weir. I was found abandoned on the steps of Proculus."

"No, you weren't." Rodney's voice cut in and John immediately went on alert at the sight of his rumpled Guide, framed by the doorway.

"McKay…" John cautioned, rising as the scientist stormed into the room and glowered at Chaya. Teyla, Ford and Bates all took his lead and stood.

"You need to step away from her, Colonel." Rodney said firmly. "She's not what she says she is."

Chaya's expression brightened as she stood up to face him. "But I thought you have all worked out that I am Ancient, no?"

"We had." Elizabeth got to her feet and shot Rodney a concerned look. "Rodney, what are you doing?"

"She's a danger to my Sentinel." Rodney said tersely. "I want her gone."

"Rodney!" Elizabeth berated him furiously. "She's an Ancient! We can learn a great deal from her and…"

John's heart leaped in his chest as Elizabeth continued. What did Rodney mean by 'my Sentinel'…he couldn't have meant…and what did he mean Chaya was a danger to him? "McKay, you're not making any sense." He said speaking over Elizabeth.

"She's the reason your senses are out of whack." Rodney said, chin lifted as though defiantly waiting to get hit.

John glanced at Chaya and almost did a double take at the guilt that flittered across her features. "He's right?"

Chaya dropped her gaze. "I fear so."

"But…I don't understand." John said confused. He caught Rodney's gaze. "What's going on?"

"She's a Sentinel." Rodney explained bluntly. He lifted a hand and pointed accusingly at Chaya. "You're not here because you're interested in an alliance or any kind of relationship with us. All you wants is John."

John yanked his gaze away from his Guide. He believed Rodney but he couldn't help asking the question to Chaya herself. "Is that true?"

Chaya's eyes were filled with emotion, beseeching him to understand. "It's true. I came for you, John."

John was peripherally aware that Elizabeth looked visibly pissed. He swallowed hard. "Must be my natural charm?" He offered trying to lighten the mood.

"More likely your Sentinel nature." Rodney lectured. "We know from Sam that female Sentinels are hardwired to seek out the strongest mate they can find. Sometimes that's a Guide but more often than not they'll seek another Sentinel." He gestured at Chaya. "You're just as wired to protect her; a female of your species. Add to that the pheromones and…well, I'm surprised you two haven't uh…" he stuttered to a halt and looked wide-eyed at John. "I mean, you haven't…" he made a thankfully vague hand-gesture.

"No," John confirmed, "but it explains a few things." He looked over at Chaya remembering their kiss and from the blush on her cheeks he figured she was remembering it too.

"Wait," Carson broke in, "I've read the SGD literature. All female Sentinels in the universe are cursed with an insanity. Samantha Carter only escaped the curse because of her experience with Jolinar. She's not insane! I would have found that in the tests I did!"

Rodney glared at Chaya challengingly. "Do you want to tell them or shall I?"

Chaya met his gaze with a cool look before turning back to John. "I am cursed." She held up a hand before anyone could jump in with questions. "I was found as a baby abandoned; that is true."

"But you were found here on Atlantis." Rodney said.

She breathed in sharply and nodded. "They quickly realised what I was and what I represented."

"They called you the Queen's Bane; the curse made flesh." Rodney added.

John tried not to visibly show his surprise. Chaya was his mission?! She was the curse made into human form and sent to Atlantis? His relief at finally finding her was swamped in the next heartbeat by the realisation that he was meant to destroy her.

"Ganos Lal took pity on me. She sent me to her sister, Oma Desala on Proculus." Chaya said. "Oma bound my insanity on the spirit plane."

"She Ascended you." Rodney corrected. "It was the only way to control the curse."

"She did a similar thing with a Goa'uld child to prevent him from allowing the evil in his mind to consume him." Elizabeth said as Chaya remained silent. "She raised him to be an Ascended being." Her eyes were filled with almost reverential awe. "You're not just Ancient; you're Ascended!"

"You're Athar." Rodney stated. "It was you who destroyed the Wraith."

Chaya nodded again, shamefaced. "Yes, but I cannot offer you sanctuary." She closed her eyes briefly and sighed. "Oma left me with a loving mother, a Priestess, and allowed me to be raised as a normal child. When she died, I left to travel but I always watched over the people of Proculus who had been kind to me and given me a home." Her eyes moistened as she caught John's gaze again. "When the Wraith came for them I could not keep to the first law."

"Ascended beings are not meant to interfere." Elizabeth said with a touch of compassion and pity colouring her tone.

"You destroyed the Wraith." John said with certainty. She was a Sentinel; she would have protected her tribe.

Chaya nodded miserably. "And so I was bound to the planet, exiled there. I can protect my people but only my people. If others came…those who are Ascended would know and…"

"And it would mean the end of the protection for Proculus." John ran a tired hand over his face.

Chaya suddenly gave a cry and stumbled. John caught hold of her, steadying her.

"Chaya?"

Chaya's head tilted upwards as though she was listening to something only she could hear. "My people! The Wraith have come again! I should not have left them!" She tore out of his arms and raced from the room.

They all followed her; John hurrying to catch up with her but as he reached out a hand, she transformed into pure white energy.

She was beautiful.

"I'm sorry, John."

The words whispered through his mind as the Stargate activated and she disappeared into the blue event horizon.

Damn it. John kicked himself internally. With everything else that had happened with his senses and Chaya, he'd forgotten all about the Wraith hive and the scouts. He turned and headed for the stairs to the jumper bay.

"Where are you going?" demanded Elizabeth, trying to keep pace with him.

"To help her!" John almost snarled.

"I'm coming with you!" Rodney announced, racing up the stairs behind him.

John turned to stare at him in shock.

Rodney's determined face took on a vulnerable uncertainty. "Uh, if that's OK with you?"

John's want to keep Rodney protected momentarily warred with his intellectual understanding that he needed Rodney, he needed his Guide, to remain in control of his senses. "You're with me." Ford and Teyla started up but John shook his head. "Only Rodney and only because he'll keep my senses steady."

He didn't wait to see if they followed his order but raced for the jumper. A few minutes later they were moving. The jumper descended into the gate room.

Elizabeth was waiting for them, hands clasped to the railing. The comms system crackled to life. "You do realise you're flying into a war zone? I can't allow that!"

"This is Sentinel business associated with the mission I was originally assigned to perform." John snapped out. "I'm overriding you, Elizabeth." The gate dialled and he urged the jumper forward.

o-O-o

Rodney hung onto his seat as the jumper exited the Proculus Stargate and immediately went into evasive manoeuvres. He looked at the readouts.

"Hive ship coming into range of the planet. We have multiple darts, none of them have reached the planet yet."

John breathed out heavily and Rodney could feel John's self-recrimination that he hadn't remembered the threat of the Wraith. He gave a sigh of relief as John shot out dart after dart before the cabin filled with white. They glanced over their shoulders and Chaya stood there.

"Why have you come?" Chaya asked.

"To help you protect your tribe." John said harshly.

Chaya's mouth firmed into a determined line. "I will take care of this." She disappeared again.

Rodney checked his scans. "There's an energy storm coming from the planet."

John kept the jumper steady as it rocked in the wash of the powerful wave. The storm spread through the space in front of them and obliterated the darts before moving onto the Hive. It exploded in a satisfying way.

Rodney swallowed as all that was left was debris. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to yell at the crazy Ascended Sentinel.

"Damn it." John muttered, heading towards the planet.

"What?" asked Rodney, tentatively reaching out with his empathy and reading a whole lot of mixed emotions; guilt and determination; horror and sadness. He frowned. "Does this have something to do with your Sentinel mission?"

"Yeah…" John sighed heavily. "Sam had intelligence that the curse was on Atlantis. She sent me to destroy it. If the curse doesn't exist anymore, all the female Sentinels everywhere will be able to emerge sane."

"Wow." Rodney said. "No pressure then."

"I just…" John set the jumper down near to the temple. "I…I know a lot of the attraction is the Sentinel thing but she's…she's a good person, Rodney. She's lonely, maybe, but then why wouldn't she be?" He grimaced. "And now I have to destroy her?"

His conflict over what he needed to do was written in every tensed line on his face.

Rodney's eyes widened as he remembered the intelligence he had received. "You don't have to kill her!"

John looked over at him.

"She's cursed so we cure her." Rodney offered hurriedly.

"How?" asked John plaintively.

It was Rodney's turn to grimace. "We make her a part of the tribe; our tribe."

John continued to stare at him bemused.

Rodney sighed. "Sam's able to keep the balance for female Sentinels on Earth because she leads our tribe. If we make Chaya part of our tribe…"

"She'll receive Sam's balance and be cured." John grinned at him. "You're a genius, McKay." He slapped Rodney's shoulder.

"Rodney."

John looked at him with surprise not for the first time that day.

"You called me Rodney before and I…I think it's time I called you John."

John's shock was visible but he gathered himself quickly. "We have a lot to talk about."

Rodney nodded.

"But when we get back to Atlantis." John decreed. "Come on; let's go do this thing." And with that he was moving.

Rodney sighed and pushed himself out of his chair. "You know I haven't even had coffee this morning?" He complained and set out after his Sentinel.

o-O-o

John stared out at the dark ocean, the reflections of the brightly lit city behind him creating sparkles and shimmers on the water's surface. He sat on the side of the pier, his legs dangling over the side. He was dressed in casual clothes; jeans and a black t-shirt. They rarely wore their off-duty wear but John had made a deliberate decision to change into his, knowing that he and Rodney would need to have their discussion without the symbols of their professional relationship present.

He stared up at the cloudless sky into the stars of the Pegasus galaxy. His Sentinel mission was complete…

John pushed open the gate to the courtyard and entered at a quick pace. Rodney followed after me puffing a touch.

"Chaya!" John called urgently.

Light formed in the centre of the courtyard and when John blinked, the light disappeared leaving Chaya behind. She wore a white dress made up of tiny white flowers; her shoulders were left bare but the sleeves and bodice were tight, the skirt full and floor length. She looked stunning.

"John!" Chaya took a couple of steps towards him, smiling.

John held his position and smiled back. "Are you alright?"

Chaya caught sight of Rodney and stopped a good distance away from them. "I am well, John." She ducked her head. "I am sorry for deceiving you."

John exchanged a quick look with Rodney who shrugged. "You don't need to apologise, Chaya."

"Your reactions are natural." Rodney added brusquely.

Chaya's gaze lifted to meet Rodney's. "You are a Spirit Walker."

"A Guide." Rodney's chin went up. "Yes."

"My Guide." John said swiftly. He and Rodney still hadn't bonded and his Sentinel was adamant about making a claim. He pushed the thought away and focused on what needed to be done. "We need to talk about the curse you carry."

Chaya's eyes filled with sadness. "There is nothing to discuss, John. Nothing can be done."

"Bullshit." Rodney said bluntly. "We can cure you."

Chaya stared at him in astonishment. "But Oma…she said the only way to stop the curse from affecting me was to bind it on the spirit plane."

"Because she wasn't destined to take the curse away." John explained.

"Look," Rodney said, "Sam, our Sentinel Queen came online and she was able to defeat the curse thanks to some unique healing factors. All our tribe are cured because of her; female Sentinels can come online without the fear of insanity. She brings balance."

"There's more." John said. "You know the story of how you came to be?"

Chaya nodded, her expression grave. "Oma told me that long ago a Warrior Prince discovered the powers of the Ascended and cursed all female Sentinels. He made the curse into human form – me. He sent me to Atlantis."

"Well, our Queen told me that a Guide on the spirit plane told her the future; that one day a Warrior Prince would travel to Atlantis and find...find you. The Warrior Prince was destined to destroy the curse and make it safe for all female sentinels in the universe again." He grimaced. "I'm that Warrior Prince."

Chaya took a step toward him. "I believe you." She shook her head. "But I do not know how you can lift the curse."

"John grants you sanctuary in our tribe." Rodney said. "Our Queen's blessing becomes your blessing."

Chaya whirled away and paced before turning back to them. Her determination shone from every pore; in the way her hands curled into fists, and her shoulders were back as though ready for battle. "What about my people? I cannot abandon them!"

Rodney shrugged. "John can assign you to their protection."

"I can?" John asked surprised.

Rodney nodded.

John smiled brightly at Chaya. "I can."

Chaya was silent for a long moment. "How do we do this?"

It was Rodney who stepped forward, closing the distance between them and Chaya. John followed him. Rodney held out a hand to Chaya and a hand to John.

"I'll Guide you to the spirit plane and John will do the rest."

Chaya took his hand and held out hers to John.

John smiled hesitantly and slid his hand into hers; he grasped Rodney's and the world went white…

Their time on the spirit plane was etched into John's memory; Rodney had Guided them and Chaya's wounded spirit animal, a beautiful Snowy Owl, had been healed as soon as John had spoken the old words of sanctuary. Chaya had been overcome with emotion and John had comforted her, holding her closely in a tight embrace even while his eyes had remained on his Guide.

They'd left Chaya on Proculus, an Ascended Sentinel protecting her tribe. They had agreed to stop by occasionally to give Chaya companionship and friendship, but Rodney had told John later that he had spotted a spirit Wolf watching them and he was certain Chaya's own Spirit Walker would soon be with her.

John had been so proud of Rodney…

As though he had thought him into being he heard Rodney's footsteps approaching. He could hear Rodney's heartbeat and could scent his aftershave and the something that was indefinably Rodney, all long before he saw Rodney come into view.

Rodney sat down next to him with a huff. "Did you have to choose the end of the longest pier in Atlantis to have this discussion?"

"I like it out here." John said, pleased to see that Rodney had also chosen casual gear; khaki pants, a truly horrendous green t-shirt and a striped shirt worn open. He nudged Rodney's elbow. "Beer?"

"You have beer?" Rodney's expression lit up.

John handed him the bottle he had. "We'll have to share."

"I can share." Rodney agreed swiftly.

John knocked the top of the beer and handed it to Rodney who took a fortifying sip. John took the bottle back and lifted it to his lips.

"I've been an idiot." Rodney announced.

John sipped the beer and handed it back, unsurprised when Rodney didn't drink it but held onto it instead. "Don't expect me to argue."

Rodney gave a huff of laughter. "I deserve that." He sighed. "My parents…they were scientists. All my life I was told science had the answers and I was good at it, really good at it. Only then…"

"You came online." John concluded.

"My parents couldn't accept it and…their disapproval…" Rodney grimaced heavily and took a long gulp of beer. "I was a disappointment as soon as they knew I was a Guide."

It explained a lot. It didn't excuse Rodney's behaviour but it explained why he had neglected his gifts; why he'd placed his career and place on the expedition ahead of bonding with John. Maybe it was time for John to share something of his own.

"I came online when my mother died." John said quietly. "My father sent me to boarding school and tried to ignore that I was a Sentinel because it meant that I wasn't going to be like him. We've barely spoken to each other since I joined the Air Force."

Rodney offered John the beer.

John took the bottle and drank deeply before giving it back.

"I wasn't…I didn't mean to reject you." Rodney said stumbling a touch over his words. "I mean, obviously that's what…but I just…it's not that I didn't want you, I just didn't want to bond with some idiot Air Force Colonel just because they were a Sentinel."

John laughed, a quick sharp sound that travelled over the water. "I guess I can understand that."

"Now that I know you…" Rodney set the bottle aside and bravely met John's gaze. "I would be honoured to be your Guide."

John's heart beat fast and loud in his chest and he couldn't suppress the bubble of happiness that swelled up inside him. He still couldn't quite believe it was happening but he wasn't going to question it. "I would be honoured to be your Sentinel."

Rodney's face lit up with surprise and delight. "Really?" He made a quick gesture. "I mean, obviously I'm me but…you. You have women chasing after you all the time. Look at Chaya."

John gave a light shrug. "I don't want them."

Rodney's eyes narrowed on him. "You wanted Chaya." He said accusingly.

"OK," John said easily, amusement lifting the corners of his mouth, "I wanted Chaya."

Rodney's face fell.

"Rodney," John said warmly, "I might have wanted Chaya but I need you."

And Rodney's blue eyes darkened with emotion. He got up and held out his hand.

John clasped Rodney's hand and let a surprisingly strong Rodney pull him to his feet.

They stood inches apart. John's Eagle Owl danced overhead in the company of Rodney's white parrot, before they flew at each other merging in a bright flash of light.

"Guide." John declared almost reverently, happiness stealing over him. For the first time he was whole.

Rodney held his gaze solemnly, his eyes reflecting their shared delight and wonder at the rightness of them. "Sentinel."

fin.


End file.
